Ever have that one stupid-ass friend on whatever social-networking site that consistently says stupid-ass shit and you really want to comment on it telling them they’re morons, but you have to refrain yourself lest some higher being smites you down right there for a being an asshole even though the stupid-ass person totally needs to hear it? purplemonkeydishwasher.
Yeah. But then half the time you can’t even understand what the fuck they’re typing because apparently they no longer speak English as their first language and have spun off into speaking Dumbfuckish and no one except other people who speak Dumbfuckish ever comment because they’re the only one who know what that one person is typing. Don’t dare write back in English because sometimes their brains are so fried from being “best friends with Jane” (written in Dumbfuckish, of course) they don’t understand what the fuck you just written.
And, since you pay for web hosting/domain names/blog space, you can go and write this in response to their dumbass status update:
OF COURSE YOUR KIDS ARE FUCKING ASLEEP AFTER “SWIMMING” ALL DAY. YOU HAD THEM OUT YESTERDAY ON ONE OF THE HOTTEST FUCKING DAYS OF THE SUMMER (IT TOPPED 105 BITCH AND THE HEAT INDEX MADE IT FEEL WORSE). THEY’RE PROBABLY FUCKING SUNBURNT BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DON’T PUT SUNSCREEN ON THEM. PROBABLY SUFFERING FROM A LITTLE BIT OF HEAT EXHAUSTION (WHICH FUCKING SUCKS TO HAVE BY THE WAY, I KNOW I HAD TONS OF FUN WITH MY RAGING CASE OF IT). I KNOW THEY DON’T EVER DRINK WATER, LOOK AT YOU. BUT, OH, AS LONG AS YOU HAD FUN “GETTING YOUR TAN ON”. I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR SKIN CANCER YOU NASTY ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKER.
That’s just from yesterday. We’re not even going to get into the asinine update from a few days ago where this stupid-ass was mentioning going back to her “old ways.” Bitch, I swear…
