Darling Clementine

Oh, yes, I deliberately threw away your orders. You caught me. Oh noes!!!!!

Dear Meth-head, I CAN be driven to violence. So, you know… keep that in mind while you keep lying on me and trying to set me up. Don’t fucking “trip” down the stairs, bitch.

‘allo Lovies! I’ll quit busting on my husband and post something else now, ; even though I have another picture I’m going to do something with.

Anyway, allow me to get this out of my system: YEAH, IT WAS ME WHO BUSTED YOU OUT, YOU FUNCTIONALLY-RETARDED EEJIT. IT WAS ME ON FRIDAY, TOO. KEEP IT UP AND SO WILL I!

Ugh, I can’t stand that motherfucker. I hope he gets fired. Yeah, yeah, I’m a horrible person. I didn’t say I was going on a mission to get him fired… yet. ha! He’s pushing it, dudes. Aaaaaanyway…

Know what else I hate? When people try to make themselves sound smarter than they really are. “You keep using that word…” CUT THAT SHIT OUT. Also, along the same vein… people who change their speaking manner, stop trying to sound uppity. Chick at work did that shit earlier while paging someone over the intercom & I wanted to hit her. You don’t see me walking around with a fucking English accent even though there are some days I REALLY need to be English. Seriously.

Maybe I just hate people. We should build a compound… in England… with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the blackjack.

So… the new chick at work? Gigantic racist. And a raging alcoholic who enjoys getting into bar fights with her husband. Them against other people, not against each other. Also, loves making dumbass comments based on assumptions… about me. I’ll show that twat “not in a good mood.”

I really hope she quits. That’s not nice, is it? Oh well. ha ha!

And now for something completely different… I’m mad at the drive-up ATM at my bank. It’s doing that “can’t currently accept check deposits” shit again. NOT FUNNY IT’S HOT & I DON’T WANT TO GET OUT OF THE CAR. Stupid ATM.

I haven’t been to work in two days and I don’t give even the slightest bit of a crap. Normally I’d feel a little bad about sitting at home without being sick or whatever, but today (and yesterday), nope. Not one single iota. I didn’t even call yesterday, just didn’t bother to show up. Immature sure; but I woke up at 6:30, stared at the ceiling for a bit, decided my life sucks and turned over and went back to sleep. This morning, same thing… only I called. I don’t care.

I’m just a little frustrated and burnt-out at the moment. How is it me “helping” you, when I’M doing all the work? I mean, really? You’re not doing anything* and two other people are doing your fucking work.

*Well, you’re doing something, but I refuse to believe that it takes as long as you make it seem. You just don’t want to fucking work… I already know. Just admit it already. I’d say it must suck having to do your own work these past two days, but I’m sure you just pawned it off onto someone else.

Eh, whatever. I’ll just stroll back in Monday morning, well-rested and not itching to shove anyone down the stairs. Or maybe I won’t. Who knows? All I know is that today, you guys aren’t around to bug me and it’s absolutely magnificent.

P.S. No accidentally horrible tags this time! LOL

I totally told a truck driver to kiss my ass this morning. Motherfucker had it coming. I was not in the mood for smart-ass jokes about my work performance. Especially from some smelly loser. Allow me to start from the beginning…

Drivers come in to pick up some cheap shit. They’re early, so I’m not in the mood. I’m currently processing orders, so it’s going to be a minute. Georgia tells SmartAss McGee that I’m currently doing that and it’ll be a minute. (It doesn’t take me long, because I fucking rule.) I’m coming around the corner from the stairs as she’s telling him. Then as I’m picking up the folders, I hear this…

“[current real name] needs to step it up a notch.”

(cue me turning around with that LOOK on my face. oh yeah, peaches, you know that look i get when i’m going to get stabby.)

“You need to kiss my ass.”

Then cue his other smart-ass comment about me not having had my coffee this morning. I don’t drink coffee during the week and I manage just fine so SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SMELLY LOSER.

I just ignored him and went about my business. I went back upstairs and came back down a few minutes later and he cracks off, “It’ll be OK, [current real name}.”

I swear to everything Holy I almost went over there and kicked him in his fucking shins. Anyway…

So, how is everyone? BRILLIANT!