Dear Meth-head, I CAN be driven to violence. So, you know… keep that in mind while you keep lying on me and trying to set me up. Don’t fucking “trip” down the stairs, bitch.

Anyway, allow me to get this out of my system: YEAH, IT WAS ME WHO BUSTED YOU OUT, YOU FUNCTIONALLY-RETARDED EEJIT. IT WAS ME ON FRIDAY, TOO. KEEP IT UP AND SO WILL I!

Ugh, I can’t stand that motherfucker. I hope he gets fired. Yeah, yeah, I’m a horrible person. I didn’t say I was going on a mission to get him fired… yet. ha! He’s pushing it, dudes. Aaaaaanyway…

Know what else I hate? When people try to make themselves sound smarter than they really are. “You keep using that word…” CUT THAT SHIT OUT. Also, along the same vein… people who change their speaking manner, stop trying to sound uppity. Chick at work did that shit earlier while paging someone over the intercom & I wanted to hit her. You don’t see me walking around with a fucking English accent even though there are some days I REALLY need to be English. Seriously.

Maybe I just hate people. We should build a compound… in England… with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the blackjack.

I really hope she quits. That’s not nice, is it? Oh well. ha ha!

And now for something completely different… I’m mad at the drive-up ATM at my bank. It’s doing that “can’t currently accept check deposits” shit again. NOT FUNNY IT’S HOT & I DON’T WANT TO GET OUT OF THE CAR. Stupid ATM.

I’m just a little frustrated and burnt-out at the moment. How is it me “helping” you, when I’M doing all the work? I mean, really? You’re not doing anything* and two other people are doing your fucking work.

*Well, you’re doing something, but I refuse to believe that it takes as long as you make it seem. You just don’t want to fucking work… I already know. Just admit it already. I’d say it must suck having to do your own work these past two days, but I’m sure you just pawned it off onto someone else.

Eh, whatever. I’ll just stroll back in Monday morning, well-rested and not itching to shove anyone down the stairs. Or maybe I won’t. Who knows? All I know is that today, you guys aren’t around to bug me and it’s absolutely magnificent.

P.S. No accidentally horrible tags this time! LOL

Drivers come in to pick up some cheap shit. They’re early, so I’m not in the mood. I’m currently processing orders, so it’s going to be a minute. Georgia tells SmartAss McGee that I’m currently doing that and it’ll be a minute. (It doesn’t take me long, because I fucking rule.) I’m coming around the corner from the stairs as she’s telling him. Then as I’m picking up the folders, I hear this…

“[current real name] needs to step it up a notch.”

(cue me turning around with that LOOK on my face. oh yeah, peaches, you know that look i get when i’m going to get stabby.)

“You need to kiss my ass.”

Then cue his other smart-ass comment about me not having had my coffee this morning. I don’t drink coffee during the week and I manage just fine so SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SMELLY LOSER.

I just ignored him and went about my business. I went back upstairs and came back down a few minutes later and he cracks off, “It’ll be OK, [current real name}.”

I swear to everything Holy I almost went over there and kicked him in his fucking shins. Anyway…

So, how is everyone? BRILLIANT!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Whew, that feels better. Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck would I gain from trying to sabotage you? Seriously? Stop mainlining drain cleaner, idiot.

Seriously, though… if I was going to sabotage her, I wouldn’t make it so bleeding obvious. Plus, even if I were, the moron is so dumb she wouldn’t know it even if it jumped up and smacked her fucking ugly-ass teeth out.

I’ve had a raging headache all day, I’m not in the mood for these children.

After yesterday, where I had a gigantic headache (oh my eyeballs and the light!, a repeat of Monday), had to drive home in ICE (fun times), and just generally had to put up with morons… I’ve decided I’m going to stop talking to a couple of people. The only time I will talk to these idiots is at work, and only about work things… you know just to make the process smoother. Other than that, fuck off and die. I will NOT make small talk with you, I will NOT listen to or participate in your bitching/shit-talking… I’m just going to NOT do anything.

Main person… oh we all know who that bitch is… I’m probably going to stop answering her phone calls unless The Roommate answers the phone… which he usually doesn’t. I’m sick of her bullshit so fucking hard I just, I don’t know. She seems to have ramped up the asshole this week. I called her on some of it (i.e., see last post) and she’s ever the deny-er. I’m not quite sure her fascination with trying to get me to quit my job. Whenever I’m even slightly annoyed or having an off-day, that’s the first thing that comes up. “You CAN find somewhere to go,” “You don’t HAVE to be here.” ETC ETC ETC, ad nauseum, over and fucking over… SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Apparently everyone is allowed to be annoyed at the entire world, or the small little work world of morons… everyone but me, that is. I’m not sure if she views me as some sort of threat, or what; but, it’s getting old. Old at work and old in life. It’s the same thing away from work. YOU’RE WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS. Well, WE can; but then you feel threatened by everyone else, or some stupid shit I’ve long stopped trying to figure out.

This is why no one invites you places; because you don’t know how to behave. She asked me last Sunday if The Roommate was having a Super Bowl party. I just shrugged my shoulders because I didn’t want to get into it. Yes, yes, he is and you’re not invited. You’re not invited because you don’t know how to behave around adults… or children and animals really. Everyone but you is invited. So piss off.

Oh, you’ve invited everyone over to watch at your house… good for you, puddin’. Have fun. Oh, the Pro Bowl is on Sunday… have fun watching by yourself. Have I ever mentioned that I don’t really like hand-egg football?

“Why are you being mean to me?”
“I’m not being mean to you.”

Really? Because your tone of voice and the way you said the previous statement pretty much negates that, asshole. Fucking g-ddamn bitch.

bwahahahahahahahahaha… hahahahahahahahahaha… hahahfuckinghadeeha!

The level of hypocrititude™ (lol) with some people here is amazing. They never do anything wrong (OF COURSE), but are so quick to blame everyone else when things go south. I’m to the point now that I only talk to like 3 people here. Everyone else… well, I don’t flat-out ignore them, but I’m not jumping to acknowledge their existence, either.

I’m sitting here (sidenote: I wrote this at work, ha!) going through the paperwork of things we’ve shipped out and the half-assitude™ (lol) is awesome. /sarcasm You bitch up a blue streak about everyone else half-assing shit and fucking shit up… but… but.. but…

BLEEDING HELL I HATE PEOPLE. ugh.